Buying a House

So I'm buying a house. Sort of - my grandpa and parents are helping me financially to get started, but after that I'm taking care of costs and upkeep.

Note: Not buying this one. :)

Looking at houses is SO fun . . . until you are actually trying to decide if you want to drop considerable money into it or not! There are so many different factors to consider. I think the hardest one for me has been the idea of permanence and the perfectionist in me that arises.

See, looking for apartments is easy - if it doesn't work out, or you just don't like it as much as you thought you would, it's only a year. Then you move somewhere better.

Excited to take a look at this one soon!

But a house - well if you are going to invest in a house, it had better work out a little longer than a year!

And for the past 5 years of my life, I haven't lived in a single place for longer than 10 months.

It's a little scary. Permanence. Settling down. And it has taken me a while to realize why it intimidates me so much. I love having "roots" and I love the concept of "home". In fact, with each of my temporary housing situations, I tried so hard to make it feel like a true home. 

The little deck of my last apartment - green makes me feel at home.

I just always imagined that settling down would look different. I imagined a husband, children, being able to stay at home and putter around the house with the children, "making home" all day. And that is not at all what my life looks like right now.

So my challenge is the same that Paul challenged the early Christians in I Corinthians. He said:

"Each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. . . What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. For this world in its present form is passing away." (7:17, 29a, 30b)

I can't let my life pass away in wishing I were somewhere else, something else, or had someone else. THIS is what God has called me to. The world is crumbling and I am such a small part of it - yet the Lord of Creation has offered me a home, where I can seek peace and stillness, entertain those who don't know Him yet, offer a bed to those needing shelter. Who am I to question this calling? 

Lord, take away my fear of never realizing dreams. May I always "wake up" from my dreaming to see what it is you have before me right now. 

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, 
but of power, love, and self-discipline." 
II Timothy 1:7