Alone

December 6th, 2011 - a letter:
"I long for the intimacy and emotional bonds that come with marriage. Some days, it's especially hard knowing that God has placed this longing in me, yet at the same time does not allow me to satisfy it yet. I know that woman was designed for companionship with man, and although my overall purpose and story is much bigger than that, it still tugs at my heart. For today, I need to focus on my desire for God and how He can fill my heart's longings more than any man. It really amazes me when I stop to think about it - that these feminine desires I have were given to me as an arrow, pointing me to Who Christ is. I long for love, and God shows it. I want security and identity in someone better than I am, and being God's child provides that. I want someone to protect and comfort me, and God faithfulness is my Rock and Shield. I long to look beautiful in the eyes of the person I love, and God makes me sinless in His eyes. I want romance and adventure in life, and yet what is more romantic than the gentle wooing of Jesus' love, and the adventure of His death and resurrection. He'll never leave me or disappoint me, never grow tired of who I am or say that I'm not enough, never give up because I've gone too far beyond His love. And I say, 'my God, that is enough.'"

I think that one of the ways Satan likes to bring us down is by convincing us of loneliness. When we go through struggles and hardships, we often feel like there's no one there for us to turn to. Not only that, but it seems that our experience is unique, so even if someone was there to sympathize, they wouldn't understand. This lonely feeling leads us to some of the darkest moments in our lives.

So what can we do about our loneliness? Well, we can start by being comforted that God recognizes this feeling and actually anticipated it from the very start. Even before the fall, God looked at Adam and said that it was not good for him to be alone. He had perfect communion with God, total immersion in nature, surrounded by the fresh beauty of a new creation. . . and yet, God saw a problem. So "ta-dah!" - in comes the woman. Marriage, intimacy, companionship - these are the things God provided as a solution to being alone.

But, as in most things, the fall has marred His perfect plan. And so, we must struggle through life feeling alone, and experiencing brokenness in our relationships. Even in the best of marriages or friendships, hurt happens and trust is lost at times. How do we deal with this? How to we fight that temptation to isolate when we feel alone in our struggles, rather than bring them to light and bear each others' burdens? Being single is one of the most common "complaints" of young, Christian adults. Our Lord has placed in us that desire for companionship, and it can be so frustrating when that desire isn't fulfilled in ways we think it ought to be.

First, I think we need to embrace our desire for companionship. After all, God did! It's easy to push it aside and think that it's "weak" or un-spiritual to desire a man or woman to share our life with. However, the story of Adam and Eve, and the entire book of Song of Songs clearly shows us that love, marriage, and relationship are things that come from God, good things, that we need to accept.

I think the next step is harnessing those desires for good purposes now. Embracing those desires opens the temptation to become "antsy" and flirtatious, trying to work out the fulfillment of our desires in our own way. But even in this issue of the heart, God asks for trust. After all, He was the one who solved Adam's problem of loneliness - can't we trust him to solve our own? Let us therefore use the strength of those desires in our heart to pursue Christ. After all, we must remember that earthly relationships, even marriage, are "icing on the cake" sort of blessings, not necessities. God has given them to us as good gifts, because He designed us and understands our desires. However, He has also offered Himself for companionship and we must learn to be satisfied with that, the "cake itself", before go asking for extra. This is a life-long process, so let's begin to take part in the romance that our Savior has laid out for us.